What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize