guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
