New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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