he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
