You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
