Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he was CRYING into my vagina
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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