sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm really busy with my period
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