Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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