Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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