A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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