I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
