ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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