there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
