Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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