You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
