When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
