Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
