i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
