I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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