Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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