I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
