first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
