Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
