I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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