sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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