Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
