Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My vagina is very pro this idea
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
