I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
