shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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