my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize