GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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