apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize