So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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