i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
