Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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