Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
birth control should be required to get into college
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
