I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
