If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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