Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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