I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
