roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize