she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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