Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
vagina is talking i cant
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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