so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
