He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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