At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
