Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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