If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
