That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize