9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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