so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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