Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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