C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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