I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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