You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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