I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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