Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
