please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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