That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
