No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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