I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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