I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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