Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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