this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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