The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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