the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
