You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
