i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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