wrigley field is MILF paradise
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
