Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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