i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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