I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize