where does the pee come out of this thing
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
