she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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